It has begun, the dreaded zombie apocalypse is upon us! Grab your survival gear as we give you the DON’TS of zombie survival disguised as good and seemingly logical ideas.
Zombie Tactic Fail no. 1: First stop… The Gun Store!
Unless some of you have been living under the proverbial rock, we all know that zombies can only be killed by destroying the brain or removal of the head. Of course it makes perfect sense to surround yourself abundant in guns and ammo so the first thing that comes to mind is to head out for a trip to the gun store.
Why it will get you killed:
You arrive at the venue to grab all the guns you can possibly carry then arm yourself to the teeth with the perfect in-and-out plan. Only to find yourself with everything BUT the guns. It did not occur to you that everyone else has the same idea. No weapons, just desperate people.
Solution:
Before the world goes awry, own a gun, in fact, you should have your own zombie stomping arsenal ready as early as last year.
Zombie Hunting Arsenal:
– Handguns / Revolvers
– Shotguns
– Machine Guns
– Grenades
– Crossbow
– Knife
– Hatchet
– Katana – Side Note: Ideal for in-laws, and ex’s (of the Zombie variety, of course)
– Baseball bat with barbed wire
Note: Teach your family to safely use guns.
Zombie Tactic Fail no. 2: Evacuate Immediately
Panic spreads faster than wildfire as news tells of the recently deceased finding their way into the city. Potential danger is in its all time high and with it, paranoia. That passerby, the delivery guy, your own neighbor, anybody could be infected! You gather your family, pack everything including clothes and food then venture out of the city.
Why it will get you killed:
Your inner voice screams only of three words that are clearer than the summer sky: Leave the city! So you do. It could be the fear disorienting you but poor judgement has led you to the nearest exit with the rest of the population. Vehicles crowd a small road then start to bottleneck and eventually, traffic comes to a halt. The perfect setup for zombie buffet.
Solution:
Bug-Out
Always be prepared to leave.Your closet should contain a bag ready for any and all disasters, preferably a backpack containing only the essentials, emergency kit, a few clothes and of course food that will last you for days.
Once leaving home, avoid the main path for it may lead to crowded streets and we all know what comes after that. Stealthily head to the back route instead.
Bug In
Your home should always be well stocked. In this way you also avoid panic buying at the last possible minute. Food with long expiration dates, medicine, clean water and extra fuel.
While brimming the storage with supplies is important, setting up home defenses is equally vital, keep in mind that this is the zombie apocalypse.
Wait until all the commotion dies down (pun not intended) before leaving.
Zombie Tactic Fail no. 3: Turn Your House Into a Fortress
Events like these in zombie films, there scenes in which people are watching the television where the news anchor or government official will say “stay in your homes and lock the doors.” A large percentage will do this. Not only that, they also bar every window with heavy objects found around the house then stay as long as they can or until the special forces come and rescue them.
Why it will get you killed:
In how many living dead themed movies have you seen the cavalry arriving at the end? Not many because most of the time, the authorities get overrun as well. Those who rely on their promise end up disappointed or worse.
How long can you last a siege with what you have on hand now? A week? A month? Even with weapons stockpiled to carry you through countless waves, Zombies can wait… FOREVER!
Zombie Tactic Fail no. 4: Use Close Fighting (Melee) Weapons
They are coming to get you! Zombies approach limping, crawling, brisk walking as they spot you out in the open. With whatever you are holding, be it a shovel, a bat or a machete, you decided to fight. It will be easy because they do not possess the reflexes to dodge attacks and their only combat skill is grabbing and biting. You swing away in frenzy at the horde and kill a lot of them.
Why it will get you killed:
First off, it’s not everyday you use melee weapons to kill so chances are, you do not know how to, especially, at the beginning of this extinction level event.
Considering that you have the superior fighting skills, realistically speaking, sooner or later you will tire and at that moment, be in snacking range.
Solutions:
Run – Take it from Rick from The Walking Dead, don’t take chances and in this case, your best defense is to avoid confrontation. Just rush to a safe place. Invest on cardio now for when the time comes, you’ll be glad you did.
Wear protective gear – Your safety precaution checklist should include wearing the proper protective gear. It will be worn most of the day so it must be comfortable and light so you are mobile, you are fighting zombies and the downside of having a heavy metallic armor is exhausting yourself. Against a group, it would be useless as they will eventually overpower you.
All it takes is one bite so leave nothing exposed. Walkers usually target the arms, shoulders and neck. As for the crawlers, the calves and ankles. It wouldn’t hurt to add extra on these.
Shoot from a distance – If you have a gun, then utilize its long range capability. The perks of owning one and knowing how to use it makes you indispensable. To be able to take every zombie down from afar makes you and your group invincible.
Use a rope – Zombies are clumsy. They bump into garbage cans, fall in ditches and get themselves caught in obvious traps. In other words, they are not that bright (could explain why they are after the brains). Now roping those zombie feet, while it does not do quite much damage, it immobilizes them for a moment and grants you time to either run or bash their heads. Simple and effective.
Zombie Tactic Fail no. 5: Aim For the Head
When the world turns upside down, you might have difficulty locating active ammo manufacturers. Best conserve your ammo until you do so it is key to aim for the zombies’ weak spot which is the head. It saves you the effort and the next shot intended for that other zombie.
Why it will get you killed:
How good a shot are you? When you see one coming at you are you able to think clearly and hit the head? You might find that it is not that easy and before you know it, you have spent your ammo. Then the noise you made with the barrage of rounds have invited more zombies to your area. You may be carrying the latest model of semi-automatic rifles complete with attachments such as night vision scope, laser sight, foregrip and even a grenade launcher but failure to fully utilize spells doom for you.
Solution:
Practice your aim some other time. In situations like these aim for something bigger, the pelvis.
Your goal is to survive. Yes, shattering the hip bone does not kill it but if one goes down, then you’ve got one less zombie to worry about. There could also be a chance for the next zombie to trip on the fallen undead.
Zombie Tactic Fail no. 6: Live Off the Land
So you managed to get out of the city, travel far and find a piece of safe haven in the outskirts. The land is flourishing and full of life, seemingly untouched by man. First thing you do is secure the area and set up camp. After days you notice several deers wandering. Fresh meat is suddenly back in the menu.
Why it will get you killed:
Unless the area is really remote, in circumstances like these, it is most likely for you to serious experience competition with a lot of hungry hunters. You don’t suppose you’re the only one in search of land do you?
Solution:
It is imperative to stockpile or buy emergency food early on. There will come a time when animals are hunted faster than they can reproduce. Whether you blame it on the seasons or blame it on other men but one thing’s for sure, after they have moved on, emergency food is your only hope.
Zombie Tactic Fail no. 7: Going Alone
You have the athleticism, can hold your own in a fight, has high survival IQ and a green thumb to go with it, you are the epitome of a survivalist, what more could you possibly need? Everyone else is considered dead weight. Getting in your way, saving and carrying them on your back all the time. Also risking your own safety for them. Hindrances are what they are.
Why it will get you killed:
Human beings are generally social creatures. Let’s say you can scavenge, hunt and defend yourself without the aid of a party, but in times you become frail and sickly you’ll realise their importance. Working in groups is how we have survived for thousands of years. While it is possible to live on by going solo or in a small group, ultimately, to go from survival to thriving, you will need a team assigned for different tasks such as hunting, fishing, farming and growing crops. Civilizations begin this way.
Solution:
Join a trustworthy group. Bear in mind that non-combatant members do not automatically render themselves useless. Who knows, one might have expertise in designing defenses, another could be a doctor. Not only would it raise your chances of survival, now you have a better shot at triumphantly taking back the world. Of course you should still have your survival gear with you at all times.
Bonus: The Walking Dead DIY Survival Kit
1. Solid bug-out bag (backpack)
2. Water purification filter & 2-liter hydration bag
3. High-energy, easy to store & tasty food
4. Shelter – high quality rain poncho that can be used as a tarp
5. Fire starter – stormproof matches, fire starter
6. Tools – Knife wrapped in paracord and sharpening stone, multi-tool
7. First aid kit
8. Stay warm – space blanket and/or sleeping bag
9. Tactical LED Flashlight and/or glowstick
10. All purpose paracord belt
11. Hand crank radio
12. Navigation tools – mirror, compass
That’s my round-up of the survival gear that will help you survive a Zombie apocalypse! Check out my gear reviews to find the best survival gear for you!